Your friendly neighborhood death squad

Ah, yes, the Wagner Group—your friendly neighborhood death squad—now recruiting for a thrilling, all-expenses-paid “business trip” to Africa! Tired of your mundane 9-to-5? Looking for a career with high turnover (literally)? Want a job where the benefits include body bags and a one-way ticket to an unmarked grave? Look no further!

What We Offer

Elite Training – Whether you’ve spent years honing your skills or you just played too much Call of Duty, we’ll whip you into shape—assuming you survive the onboarding process.

“Fair” Financial Compensation – That is, until you either get ghosted on payday or your contract gets “adjusted” mid-mission. Salary delays? Never heard of them! (Ask the widows of our previous recruits.)

Life and Health Insurance – Perfect for when your remains are “misplaced” and your family gets a heartfelt “thoughts and prayers” instead of a payout.

Top-Tier Equipment – Because nothing says “modern technology” like a rusty AK-47 and a handful of bullets that may or may not jam when you need them most.

Exciting Destinations – You’ll get the privilege of “visiting” lush jungles, scorching deserts, and quaint little villages where the locals greet you with RPGs and Molotov cocktails. Bonus: You’ll also get a “healthy tan” while dodging drones and mortar fire.

Requirements

Be between 22 and 50 (because under 22, you might still have a soul, and over 50, your knees probably can’t outrun a drone strike).

Commit to a 6-month “business trip”—which may or may not be extended indefinitely, depending on how much cannon fodder we need.

Have a valid foreign passport (or let us “help” you acquire one, because nothing screams stability like Wagner handling your paperwork).

Other Openings

French Translators Needed! Because someone has to explain to the locals why they’re suddenly hosting a surprise Wagner pop-up war zone. Bonus points if you can say, “We come in peace” while dodging shrapnel.


Still have questions? Call our hotline! Just don’t expect anyone to answer when things go south—our call center operators are probably on their own “business trip.”