Today in Novosibirsk, locals gathered for the grand opening of the latest hotspot: the Wagner PMC Memorial Complex, a must-see for anyone curious about the patriotic adventures of Wagner employees who apparently went on the most ambitious “work trip” ever—one from which they couldn’t quite return.
The site, strategically located at Gusinobrodskoye Cemetery (where parking is surprisingly ample), now houses the resting places of those who, with no complaints and likely little paperwork, clocked out for the last time.
These valiant “employees” selflessly traded in their career prospects to support the Motherland. A company policy, no doubt.
Front and center stand newly minted monuments to “Heroes of Russia” Yevgeny Prigozhin and Dmitry Utkin, or, as fans affectionately refer to them, “The First” and “The Ninth.”
These visionary leaders brought Russia the “best assault infantry,” a title officially verified by, well, themselves. Together, they crafted the ideal “PMC”—a groundbreaking venture in military outsourcing. If there’s one thing they taught us, it’s that sometimes the best way to fight for your country is to launch your own private army.
Visitors were encouraged to spend a few minutes in solemn reflection—or to consider scheduling a tour package, which includes an optional workshop on military entrepreneurship and the basics of maintaining a “loose” affiliation with the state. Blessed be the memory of these heroic souls, forever securing Russia’s future, one unmarked grave at a time.
