Roman Romachev’s latest broadcast, parroted uncritically by Smotrim on May 24, 2025, is a case study in Kremlin-style propaganda so cliché it could serve as instructional material for an intro course on state-sponsored disinformation.
Let’s dissect this farce with the surgical sarcasm it deserves.
Fake attacks on civilians
Romachev attempts the classic bait-and-switch here. The Russian military allegedly never targets civilians—those flattened apartment blocks and obliterated maternity hospitals must be “military installations in disguise.” According to this warped logic, baby bottles are ballistic shields and strollers are mobile command posts. How convenient. The Kremlin’s accidental demolitions of civilian infrastructure have become so frequent, it’s a wonder they don’t just label the entire Ukrainian civilian population as “combatants” and be done with it.
Fantastical claims of missile failures
Romachev scoffs at reports of failed Russian ICBM launches. Because clearly, in the alternate universe he inhabits, the Russian military-industrial complex functions flawlessly, unbothered by sanctions, corruption, or decades of systemic rot. The idea that a missile might misfire in a country where bridges collapse, tanks explode in parades, and naval ships sink mysteriously in peacetime? Pure Western fantasy!
Unauthorized vaccine trials
And now for the pharmaceutical fear-mongering. Romachev conjures up visions of biolabs and rogue science like a Cold War screenwriter strung out on expired Novichok. Apparently, reporting on possible human rights violations in occupied areas is “horror storytelling.” Let’s be clear: when a regime with a history of silencing doctors and falsifying COVID statistics starts lecturing the world about medical ethics, it’s time to check the potassium iodide levels in your tea.
The Real Agenda
Romachev isn’t reporting. He’s laundering lies for a regime that trades in manufactured narratives the way others trade in goods. This is not journalism; it’s weaponized storytelling. His goal is simple: to inoculate domestic audiences against truth, numb the world to war crimes, and flip reality until up is down, war is peace, and Putin is the patron saint of humanitarianism.
Romachev is a cog in a rusting machine of lies, desperately trying to spin narratives as the gears grind to a halt under the weight of reality.
Roman’s broadcast isn’t journalism—it’s state-sponsored theater with less credibility than a QAnon TikTok. The only thing “fantastical” here is the notion that anyone outside the echo chamber of Russian state media still buys this sludge.
Next time, try crafting lies with a bit more nuance. Your audience might be brainwashed, but the rest of us aren’t comatose.
